Hyperactive Nazgul
by silmirof4077
Summary: There are hyper Nazgul, Uruks and little lotr charaters loose in Sydney! Please R&R. Chaper 4 is up!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: The portal

Elrond grinned happily: the morning had not been wasted after all. Yes 255 of the 256 phone calls had been fruitless, but he had successfully found someone to baby-sit this unruly mob for the weekend. "Children" he called "Please come here". He then dived out of they way of what appeared to be the "children". One found it difficult to tell through the cloud of dust.

The elven lord leapt down from his tree "Um boys, girls and um…" he glanced at the Uruk hai who where clutching dolls in their hands and staring intently at him. Then at the Nazgul who where wearing matching tee-shirts with large numbers printed on them.

Elrond cleared his throat "…. Unnatural beings."

One of the Uruk's started to sniff. Insert pandemonium here. Soon all 24 Uruk's where bawling and Nazgul no. 6 was screaming, because he had just discovered that his dummy was shredded due to his sharp teeth. He crashed into Legolas who began howling at the state of his hair. Aragorn hit him with his sword causing him to howl louder. Gollum began to sneak away when Sam leapt on top of him. While Frodo was trying to remove Sam, he kicked Eomer who drew his sword causing Eowyn to chase after him. Elrond sighed and his face in his hands before deciding that serious action needed to be taken. "SILENCE" he bellowed. All concerned parties froze in the act of biting; crying, sneaking, chasing and screaming to look at Elrond with an innocent 'what me' stare. He took several deep breaths "Children please form…. TWO…. STRAIGHT … lines" he spoke slowly and deliberately, hoping against hope he might get his point through.

There was a brief scuffle and more dust. Elrond covered his eyes, when he opened them before him stood two relatively straight lines. He sighed and surveyed the arrangement before him.

First was Aragorn and Legolas "Opposites attract" Elrond muttered. Behind them was Eowyn staring lovingly at Aragorn and Arwen holding a brick above Eowyn's head. He began to walk down the line. Then came Galadriel staring intently into a cup of water partnered with Faramir, who was staring intently at Eowyn.

Following them was Merry and Pippin, their arms full of mushrooms, which where falling everywhere.

Denethor and Theoden both looking decidedly mad.

Gollum and Smeagol fighting loudly.

Eomer and Boromir actually behaving.

Gandalf and Saruman trying to hit each other over the head with their staffs /sticks.

Frodo and Sam.

Sauron leading his ring, which was tied to a bit of string.

Nine nazgul each leading their fell beast on a chain.

Then at the end the Uruk hai were grouped together. One held a guitar and they where belting a rather off key rendition of, Oh What A Beautiful Morning.

A few paces behind them where Lothwen, Eldarwen and Gilwen, three over excitable elfling girls he was keen to get rid of.

Elrond sighed and led them a few uneventful kilometres to the other side of Rivendell. In front of them was a large swirling portal "Ohhh." went the nazgul "Ahhhhh." went everyone else. The Witchking took charge "Please find your exit buddy." he squealed happily. Elrond paled. The nazgul clutched their fell beasts " Do you have your exit buddy?"

There was a chorus of "Yes".

" No," Elrond croaked. The Witchking grasped his fell beast (fondly referred to as fluffy) and pointed it at the portal "CHARGE" he called out. The nazgul ran towards it with squeals of glee and leapt into the mist happily. "Stop" called Elrond as the last nazgul disappeared.

He turned to the rest of them "Now, we will please exit in an orderly manner with your partner. Legolas, Aragorn, you go first." Legolas daintily walked in followed by Aragorn. Eowyn leapt in after Aragorn. Arwen threw her brick in before jumping in herself. Elrond danced with glee at the thought of getting rid of them for two days.

Galadriel stepped through still looking at her cup.

Faramir was running away from dethore and stumbled through. Merry and Pippin threw their mushroom in- causing Elrond to groan- then leapt through themselves.

Denethor happily threw is oil in, then danced in himself, humming.

Theoden followed muttering to himself, then saw the hole and began slowly backing away. He turned and fled into Rivendell. Elrond sighed "Oh well, one less won't make any difference." Smeagol and Gollum were arguing about entering the fog

"No, no, no precious we must not go in."

"Yes presioussssssss we must."

Elrond sighed dramatically and then threw a fish through the hole. Smeagol/Gollum leapt in after it.

Saruman and Gandalf fought their way up and into the mist.

Frodo came to the door "Now that I'm here I don't think I want to" he said. Sam came up behind him "Not even these elvish cloaks will hide us in there."

Tired of the "will I, won't I" discussion Elrond stepped lightly behind them and pushed the two startled hobbits face forward into the mist.

Then Sauron skipped in, dragging his ring behind him. "Elberth save me." muttered Elrond.

Eomer and Boromir ran forward "Wait for us!" they screamed and kept running right into the portal.

The Uruk hai, now getting the general idea ran headlong into the mist squealing louder then the Nazgul.

Elrond shook his head and stepped through himself. The scene on the other side was quite laughable. Merry and Pippin were studying the Sydney harbour bridge with great interest "How d'ya think it got there Merry?"

"It could have been carried here by migrating eagles"

"But it would be to heavy."

"It could grip it by the curve."

"Pip, it's not a matter of where it grips it. It's a simple matter of weight ratios; a 50-ton bird can not carry a 1000 ton bridge…"

Most of their mushrooms had landed on the Nazgul. Fluffy had developed a liking for them and was licking them off its master. Smeagol was happily chewing on his fish .The Uruk's were stacked on top of one another happily watching a butterfly and the Nazgul where running in circles screaming "Tig tag tog tig tog tag tig..."

Elrond sighed again and called them over to him. They stood before him looking with wide eyes at their surroundings "Come on then it's this way," he said

"42 wallaby way." chanted the Nazgul in delight (note: the Nazgul have a slight Nemo obsession).


	2. Let the destruction commence!

**OHHHH! Reviews. A big thanks to all reviewers. **

Chapter 2: Let the destruction commence!

Finally they came to the door of a huge house. Elrond sighed with great satisfaction and rung the doorbell .the hobbits shrieked and hid behind the Nazgul. Elrond started talking to the woman at the door, giving her a long list of dietary needs and other problems "Well then" he said gleefully clapping his hands "good luck" he pushed the door open and 30 plus exited beings ran into the house. There baby sitter fled to her room, but had signs taped to the door of whose room was whose there were also many _do not touch_ singes which where blandly ignored, they ran upstairs to their rooms. There was a room for the nazgul and Uruk's to share.

One for the 3 girls and one for the boys. Much to Legolas's delight he found skate board under his bed. He yelled with joy and led the rampage, sliding down the stairs firing arrows at a picture of an elephant on the wall. The rest found their way down and chaos ensued. Their carer stood at the top of the staircase shouting warnings

"Pippin stop trying to push Faramir off the couch"

" Denethor what is my rule about matches, put that oil down.." feeling faint she returned to her room, the kids, however, seemed to have unlocked an endless energy reserve that would have made the oil companies rich.

Galadriel was kneeling before the cat's water bowl.

Aragorn was dragging his sword around slicing the carpet in half. Eowyn was following aragorn and Arwen was following Eowyn with a chair.

Merry was raiding the fridge.

Frodo and Sam had found a box of rings in a "_don't touch"_ cabinet and where now throwing them into the fire one by one.

The Uruk's, finding the fire taken and unearthed some 3rd century chairs and had created a bon fire in the middle of the lounge room, they where roasting marshmallows on the now smouldering carpet and singing "……we're singing in the rain…..".

Gandalf and Saruman where on top of the sandpit roof hitting each other .an unsuspecting budgie flew past and Gandalf crying "Gwarahir" threw himself onto it, needless to say they crashed to ground and the budgie dragged itself out from under Gandalf.

In the sandpit Sauron was trying to forge rings.

Eomer had set up piles of sticks from his bed to Denethor's. Gollum was in the freezer trying to pull a fish from the ice.

Boromir was blowing his horn in time to the Uruk's song.

Legolas was looking for Gollum his 'oliphant' was now riddled with arrows, he held a target in one hand a nail in the other, and spotting Gollum he called out

"Gollum can you get me a hammer"

Gollum looked confused

" Ah, a ham sandwich" He said happily

" No, no" Legolas called him back "A hammer" he said slowly "My hamster?" said gollum questioningly.

"No not your hamster how could I knock a nail in with your hamster? Well I could try. No you stay here and tidy, you know tidy" he thrust his a duster at him "I go find a hammer and hit you on the head with it hard"

He started off.

Legolas had return unsuccessful from his hunt. To his great delight Sam had gotten fed up with gollum and tied him to the wall, cackling with glee Legolas passed his target to Gollum and started shooting at is.


	3. A food fight like no other

Chapter 3. A food fight like no other.

It soon became apparent that something was happening in the kitchen; the something was there carer was making dinner. Soon they were led into a huge dining room (ooooooooohhhhhhhhhh aaaaaaaaaaaaaa). Gollum grabbed his fish and started scaling the chandelier. "Please find a seat," boomed their baby sitter. They quietly obeyed. Gollum was almost at the top of the huge hanging light, he pushed his fish on to a candle. It fizzed fitfully. "The fish is up, it's done," he hissed. With a final fizz the fish was burned in half and fell with wet splat to the table.

"The fissssh is down."

By now the food had arrived and grace was being said.

"Lord we thank you for this bountiful food…"

" And fish," added gollum

"And ale"

" And bows "

"And rin… WHERE IS MY RING!"

When they had all had added their respective item the very flustered baby sitter continued, only to be cut off by Pippin: "Mushrooms!"

Then began a food fight dinner like no other. Lothwen crept around the table; she paused next to Gilwen who was holding a large muffin. "Hello Gilwen," said the elfling sweetly "you don't want the muffin do you?" Grudgingly she handed it over. Delighted, Lothwen crept on and returned to her seat with a lot of food that wasn't hers.

Merry and Pippin were carefully building a catapult out of various cutlery using a candle as a welder. "No! No, stop, stop." cried their baby sitter before fleeing upstairs as sparks from the hobbit's candle flew onto the table. With great glee the Uruks gathered round it and gently blew on it, causing a great fire to start. "Aaaaaaaarrrrrrhhhh Mount Doom is exploding." Frodo screeched and fled the table followed by Sam.

Merry and Pippin began to fling corn across the table at the girls who screamed and ran into their room.

The Uruks were still singing, much to the horror of everyone else. By now every other person was contributing to the bedlam: Gollum was swinging dangerously on the chandelier "…rock and pool so nice and cool…" Aragorn was repeatedly charging into battle. The result: a lot of speared food; Gandalf was still fighting with Saruman; Legolas was whimpering under the table; the girls had fled long ago; Frodo and Sam had retuned to the fire; and yeah, you get the general idea.

An hour later the exited youngsters had been sent to bed. Legolas was first into the bathroom.

20 minutes later the Nazgul were charging the door with a battering ram, said door smashed and the squealing Nazgul ran in; a very untidy Legolas was dumped, whimpering, outside the door.

The Nazgul soon charged out again out, wearing matching pink robes. After a brief scuffle a line was formed to the bathroom, as there was no longer door. The girls went to find a better place to change. The Uruks however, splashed water on their faces and declared themselves clean.


	4. The bubble Olympics

Much later their harassed carer fled through her ruined home, muttering softly. "Never again, never ever…"

She wrote a scribbled note to Elrond then slipped into the night.

Upon finding all from of control gone, breakfast was an interesting affair. Eowyn was stealing Eomer's carefully cooked omelette. Choosing a more life prolonging way of eating the girls grabbed a packet of chips and retreated to their room with their prize. Meanwhile the Uruk hai where trying to use part of the wall for firewood. This done they munched on their staple diet of char grilled marshmallows.

The nazgul where screaming in delight and tipping cereal over each other.

Merry and Pippin had discovered the bubbled bath upstairs; giggling with glee they enlisted Legolas's (Under the false idea that this would make him clean.) and Eomer's (Who needed no excuse to create trouble) help to switch on every tap in the house. With in the hour most of the floor was soaked; the hobbits then spread the bubbled bath, shampoo, and soap everywhere resulting in bubbles and slippery stuff all over the house.

Soon everybody joined in the slide, slip, fall and cry process. By the time everybody was starting to get the hang of this, the witch king had climbed to the top of the now very battered chandelier. "Ladies and gentlemen," he squeaked happily "welcome to the 2005 soapsuds Olympics." There was a large cheer at this proclaiming. "First up we have body sliding down the stairs. All contestants please follow ringwraith number nine to the top of the stairs."

Said ringwraith wiped the grime of his tee-shirt to reveal a large number and led the small group up the stairs. "Please welcome," witchking began our timer ringwraith No.6."

A small clap followed this. "Now our first contestant is Merry."

Merry stood the top of the stairs, looking down happily. "I'm coming too!" called pippin. He stopped next to merry. Frodo had not been lasting and ran forward too. Sam followed Frodo and crashed into the group. They unceremoniously tumbled down the stairs. "And the time is…." squealed witchking "..20 seconds. You all win. Yay!" he danced around. "Now for the diving competition!" he squeaked. "The aim of this is to see who can make the deepest hole in the bubbles. Please welcome our official depth checker: ringwraith No. 6. Our first contestant is ringwraith No. 2." Ringwraith No. 2 waved cheerily to the crowd and leapt from the top of the stairs into the huge pile of bubbles. Being a very disembodied and light from of evil he dived headlong into the foam sinking an entire two inches into the froth. "And our next contestant is Uruk number 24." Ringwraith number 6 started squealing madly and struggling to get out of the bubbles, he pulled his way free as Uruk no 24 leapt ungracefully from the top of the stairs. Being a much heavier form of evil he crashed through two successive floors. They declared him the winner.

"Now for our 3rd event," Once again the high pitched voice of No. 9 came through "... is bobbing for mushrooms." Merry ran forward followed by fluffy. "Ok," said Witchking "…. the person who collects the most mushrooms wins. Ready steady…." But they where already off eating as many soap covered mushrooms as would fit in their mouth "Okayyyyyy," Witchking's voice trailed off. And that concluded the bubble Olympics.

The day continued in this way for a while. Dinner was an unrecorded disaster and the ringwraiths spent the early hours having flying lesson with their fell beasts, occasionally sliding into a wall or a cupboard. "Aahkhhhhhhhh!" screeched a ringwraith as its fell beast slipped into another.

Then merry had idea.

"Roll up, roll up, play dodgem beast: only two mushrooms a turn. Roll up, roll up…"

Soon the living room was filled with small things rocketing around on very soapy fell beasts. This attraction cooled off at about two in the morning.

Soon the "kids" began settling to their claimed soap patch for the evening.

Early the next morning Elrond arrived. Reading the note taped to the door he quietly opened it and took in two day of meals and games with no supervision. He quickly recovered from this shock and quietly closed the door, at the same time dialling the police "Hello," he said softly, "I would like to report a group of vandals destroying a house in 453 Kiaro st Sydney. Thank you."

Pocketing the note he stepped unaccompanied back to Rivendell and set about destroying the portal.


End file.
